"When someone you trust adeptly challenges your reasoning and asks you the powerful question that breaks down your protective frame, your brain is forced to reorder data in your long-term memory."
"If instead you believe the person you are with is capable
of seeing things differently and finding new solutions with
a little help thinking it through, you are likely to
get better results if you act more as a “thinking partner” than a holder
of the truth."
"When people face a surprising revelation about their behavior, they will pause and then react."
"When you trust in people’s capabilities for learning and growth, why wouldn’t you want to help them rise above their current proficiency?"
"When you are fully present, you are capable of perceiving what is occurring in yourself as well as in the person you are with."
"If you are to succeed in building trust, a person must feel your intentions are in his best interest throughout the conversation and beyond."
"If you are there to help a person think, you must be willing to let his thoughts have a life of their own."
"Most people you encounter want to be free from their mental blocks and struggles. To reveal them to you, however, to allow you to explore their thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires, they have to fully trust you. You have to release your own attitudes, assumptions, and positions to allow the process to unfold."
"Reflecting helps people witness their own thoughts at work when creating their stories."
"Emotions are contagious. To create a safety bubble, you
choose to be curious and caring as you hold the positive
intention of helping the person see more broadly."
"The better you get at listening from your heart and gut
as well as your head, the better you will know what the person
needs from you emotionally as well as verbally. Trust
the process. And remember, the other person wants you to be present more
than he or she needs you to be perfect."
"For a change to be genuine and lasting, the person needs
to want to improve because it is the right thing to do, not
because there will be a reward."
"Accepting the past is over is an emotional process."
"Be firm and compassionate when helping people see they are holding on to mere memories."
"Remember—all career and life transitions are gradual processes, not instantaneous events."
"The best you can do is to keep the focus on the desired outcome in the future."
Written by Famous Author : Marcia Reynolds
The
Discomfort Zone
