"Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you."
 

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
 

"I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement."
 

"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy."
 

"If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race."
 

"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
 

"It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals."
 

"Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."
 

"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."
 

"Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners."
 

"Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making."
 

"Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs."
 

"Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything."
 

"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."
 

"Television is the triumph of machine over people."
 

"What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement."
 

"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart."

Written by Author : Fred Allen
Much Ado About Me

More Motivational Quotes:

Robin Ryan

Your goals for success are set by you. They matter to you. The world needs excellence in so many jobs that you can find your favorite and be the best possible at it.
 

Louis E. Tice

If you believe that your current reality is fixed, you get trapped in your own mistaken sense of "This is the way it is." You think, "It's always been this way, and it will always be this way." But the present is not permanent.
 

Andrew J. Elliot

Learning skills (knowledge-acquisition components) are essential to the model (Sternberg, 1985, 1986), although they are certainly not the only learning skills that individuals use.